Broken everything

Living on 21 bucks a week isn't easy but completely doable. But what about living on 21 dollars a week and then having your toilet, waterheater and a window break all within 24 hours? So the window I can do without for right now...but hot water and the ability to flush are things I use everyday. I'm not fond of cold showers or stinky bathrooms.

It got me thinking about the costs of EVERYTHING. Anything we own has a maintenance or replacement cost. Now, I know that most in poverty do not own their own houses. Instead they rent. And their landlords are supposed to take care of such things. But I understand what is supposed to happen does not always happen. Instead, landlords often ignore or negelct their properties and their clients, and perhaps aren't too far off the poverty lines themselves.

But besides the necessary shelter wear and tear, what about everything else? How about the car? Angie in the American Dream car problems and cost her her job. Our public transit system and infrastructure is so poor that without a car, you're nearly always out of luck on a job. Personal transportation is almost a necessity in most parts of the country. So, if something goes wrong with your 1992 Chevy and you do not have the capacity to fix it, you're hosed... I can't imagine that stress....

Beef Ravioli for dinner and breakfast

Yesterdays dinner, a can of "Great Value" Beef Ravioli, was disappointing. I didn't eat but a third of the can to make sure I had enough to eat for later and the taste was pure tomatoes. I had some wheat bread with it which helped balance the taste. But beyond that, the meal left me wanting. I had the desire to hit the pantry and fridge all night long. When I laid down for bed, up came the acid reflux. I don't usually have acid reflux unless I severely overeat (like on Turkey day or Xmas) so dealing with it this morning wasn't pleasant. I wonder if after tasting beef ravioli all night that I will be able to eat the pasta for a second night.

So, If I had to evaluate this experience so far, I would say that it is not easy. It isn't easy to plan or budget, but it also isn't easy to have high sugar, high fat, bland or over flavored foods in my diet. It simply isn't enjoyable. And what's worse is that I feel a bit dragged down this morning. My calorie intake was much lower than normal yesterday and I am certain I am not meeting nutritional recommendations. No wonder I feel like I have less energy. If there was a day I craved coffee, it is this morning.

If this stays up, up wonder if my productivity will decline. Mind over matter right now. I have the motivation to do this, but I can understand why some people don't "fee like working" like Opal. When life does what it did to her, or when you don't actually have the energy cuz you feel bad, I think I get it...maybe I am being presumptuous...just tryting to free write.

I am hungry.

I am certain I am going to lose some weight over this week. This isn't good. My calories are going to need to be restricted and my nutrient intake levels are lower than I would like. I don't need to lose any weight and I do not necessarily want to lose any muscle mass, which is bound to happen if I keep this up.

Other than that, I am finding that I am not enjoying the foods I bought as much as I anticipated. I enjoy wholesome foods but don't like sodium all that much. Ramen has tons of it (which is what I had for lunch). The sugar was overwhelming in my cereal this morning.

I am still motivated, however. Especially after telling others what I am doing. Some coworkers saw me eating the ramen for lunch and asked me why and pointing out that was a bit contradictory to my daily lessons for my students. it felt good to explain. It affirmed my own motivations.

Inaugural meal

Last night I went shopping and did not enjoy the process. Experiencing the dissonance caused by using a shopping strategy polar to my own was not easy. Values and priorities...all I could think about was values and priorities. As stated in an earlier post, I love healthy, organic foods. When I walk through the store and pick up items to look at them, I first look at the nutrient label, then the ingredient list, then the price. I nearly always ask the questions "Is this nutritious and wholesome?", "Is this organic?", "Does this have high fructose corn syrup (sodium, fat, cholesterol)?".

The only question I asked myself this time was "Will this keep me under $21" and "how many meals will this give me". I grew anxious over the course of the shopping trip, worrying about my health. I imagined a child or two in my family and thought, how could I possibly give them the nutrition they need? My entire value system can not be upheld on this amount of money per week.

I came out of the Wal-Mart and Dollar Store spending $18.39....I am not sure I am going to make it through the week on the food I brought home unless I eat far less and (...side note: my girlfriend just asked if she could have one of my bananas and I said no...that didn't feel good...I can't even be generous) or break the challenge rules.

The luxuries

How will I go without my coffee? My nightly craft beer? It just hit me as I sit here with my cup of very tasty organic cup-of-joe. I know this is not important in the big picture. Oh, the things I am concerned with when I have everything I need and more.

Anxiety

I am healthy. I eat right. I exercise. I get 8 hours of sleep. I practice stress relieving techniques. I challenge myself everyday with something intellectual. I value my health and wellness, and I am healthy. I must be. I teach health. I teach nutrition. Exercise. Good healthy behaviors are my bread and butter. They are my values. They are how I frame my life.

How do I stay healthy on $21 a week? It is not just the change that is going to affect me. It is the understanding that $21 a week doesn't get me the nutrients I need, in the quantities I need, to maintain the high level of function that I am accustomed to.

Good health is happiness. No pain. I stay alert. I feel good. These all make the daily tasks of life enjoyable and easier. But I know that all aspects of health and wellness are linked. I wonder how this financial limitation will affect the various dimensions of my health and of my life.

I am anxious. I am excited. I am looking forward to the opportunity to understand something new, experience something that thousands experience for a prolonged period. I am prepared grow from this experience, and use it to better serve the community.